Today is my last jazz band performance. Today I perform with the Clark Jazz Band, subbing for their second tenor player. Today, I will be playing my last solo in jazz band as a high school student. Today, is just another last.
But today for some reason is harder than I thought it would be. At first it seemed like just any other concert. Playing with Clark definitely makes it a little different, but over all I wasn’t too concerned.
I woke up this morning feeling rested for the first time since I left for California two weeks ago. But instead of a nice stretch, and a relaxed sigh; Instead of birds chirping and sun shining; Instead of smiling happily at the thought of a new day, I felt a feeling of dread.
Today’s the day.
That is all I could think. Today. Today is the last time I will perform in a jazz band with one of my best friends, he is moving to Massachusetts in 16 days. Today is the last time I will play my tenor saxophone for the Hockinson High School Jazz Band. I had no idea it meant so much to me to be a part of this band until it hit me that my last performance is tonight.
I am shaking just thinking about it. I will stand up, put my bell to the microphone and play the hardest saxophone solo I have ever played. My legs will shake, my thoughts will be whirling, knowing that so many people are watching. But then, it will all be over. My final high school jazz band performance will come to a close. Maybe I’ll go out with friends, maybe I’ll cry. All I know is that today is another last, another end. I’m getting sick of these lasts, but I know that they mean a new tomorrow, and I’m excited for that as well. However, no one ever said that it would be so bitter sweet. I wish I would have known before today.