Where is the Good in Goodbye?

Looking for the good things in life can be hard. Especially recently. I haven’t only had to keep myself looking at good things, but I’ve been given the responsibility of helping other people see the good things too. I’ve felt like people have been looking to me to be strong and to fight, but I’m just surviving. I got the news two weeks ago today. One of my dearest friends texted me while I was in rehearsal, telling me he needed to talk to me, that it was bad. I didn’t read these messages until after rehearsal, but when I did I quickly texted him back, wanting to make sure that everything was okay. Of course it wasn’t. He told me that he needed to tell me in person. I panicked. Was it cancer? Did someone die? Was there an accident? I rapidly typed out the message “Are you dying?”, really meaning it. “Not physically” was his reply. That’s when I knew. His dad traveled a lot for his job, they had had to move a lot in the past. Unlike me, who has lived in Hockinson my whole life, he hadn’t moved here until he was in fifth grade, and that was after he lived in two other states. He was moving. That had to be the answer.

The rest of the night drug on as I waited, worrying for when I could talk to him. I made it through my saxophone lesson even though the 30 minutes seemed like hours. Then I drove to his house and picked him up. When he got in the car I could tell he had been crying. I asked him what was wrong, and sure enough, his family was moving. But not just moving. They were moving across the country, to the east coast. One of my best friends was leaving. My heart broke and we just sat in my car and cried. I tried to encourage him, but it seemed like nothing I said was convincing either of us.

Now fast forward three weeks. Here I am, writing a blog post after three weeks of conversations leading back to the dreaded subject. No matter what I do or say, nothing seems to cheer anyone up enough. Our tight-knit group of friends is being torn apart by two of us going to college, one being stuck in high school alone, and another being transported across the country. Whenever we hang out the subject comes up. Someone is always sad about it, whether we say it or not. I can’t even talk about it without tearing up. But I feel like I’m supposed to be the strong one, helping my friend get through this. It has been a rough three weeks, constantly going back and forth between trying to stifle my own sadness and trying to believe that everything will be okay.

But the thing is, I do know that everything will be okay. Our friendship is wonderful, and thanks to technology we can text everyday, talk on the phone or Skype often, and even resort to snail-mail if we want to. No one is losing anyone. We will be best friends forever, because you don’t spend all your time with people that don’t matter to you. We care about each other, we want to stay in touch, so we will. It’s as simple as that.

Have you ever noticed that “good” is in the word “goodbye”? Maybe it’s because “goodbyes” don’t have to be a bad thing. Maybe they can be more like “see ya laters” rather than some permanent separation. Maybe we have all been missing the “good” in goodbyes. And in these next couple months, I hope I can find it again, and that I can show it to other people. Because life is hard, full of tough times and goodbyes. But I’ll keep searching for the good in goodbyes and for the sweet silver lining in the clouds.

~Lily Rose